June 29, 2011
June 15, 2011
Arlington is very liberal about household composition
And yet I am not on the bill. I drink water like everyone else. Well, I drink water like most creatures without opposable thumbs.
But I could not be on the bill because I cannot pay it. I could sell my hair; which is no problem because I have no need for the silver combs Moron hocked his watch for.
(look at the very bottom line of text in the photo)
Update: And now the mailing lists…
June 12, 2011
June 4, 2011
June 2, 2011
A word about vets
This is me at the vet, pre-haircut. A word of advice for the little Shmendricks out there: always go to the doctors with an ill behaved child. Compared to Mycroft, I am a good boy who deserves favor.
But I still look like a poorly kept poodle. I wonder if Hans Christian Andersen knew that if you shave a Bedlington you get a beautiful swan?
May 30, 2011
Summer cut
Shorn. But I still maintain that I am not a lamb. Moron also needs a haircut. Moron’s should be cheaper, and far less invasive.
Just so y’all know, the vet said my weight is fine, I am not undernourished. That is in terms of food. My mind is about to atrophy from the idiotic level of conversation. Moron says “sit” and guess what buddy, I have free will. Next time try explaining what’s in it for me. Meet me half way here, Moron.
May 28, 2011
Happy Birthday Littlest Shmendrick Child!
I can’t wait to see you in a few weeks. I will not be calm, and I will try and kiss you lots and lots.
Your sister will receive a solem and dignified handshake.
Mycroft will also be thrilled to see you.
Moron also hopes you have a great birthday. We figure that you are now taller than me, but still shorter than him.
Lotsa kisses,
Schmuckels
Correction
Grandpa’s Bedlington was named Buachail Donn, Irish for brown haired boy. (Bedlingtons are not Irish any more than Grandpa was, but that was Grandpa. If he had his way Moron would be Liam and Moron’s sister would be Moira. I have the most Jewish name in the family, and that’s because Moron named me. FYI Bedlingtons are Anglican, making my name somewhat Moronic.)
The correction is this: In a prior post I named Grandpa’s brown haired boy Bookie. Grandma informs me that the call name was spelled Bookey (pronounced boo-key) as not to have folks think the dog ran a gambling operation. This was a common misconception until the last two letters of his call name were changed, allowing Bookey to narrowly avoid a RICO indictment.
I am colorblind
Even so, I know that beige on beige is not a good look for me. So tell me, does this picture make my butt look big?
May 22, 2011
I think Joss understands
The Bunny thing is killing me. If Moron gives me five minutes alone with them I can become a four-legged [REDACTED].
Note from Moron: Shlomo was going to try and make a good natured joke involving Myxomatosis. After googling to find the correct spelling, the images just totally took the wind out of my sails. So I am pro bunny here, and I am the one with the digits and the wireless password. Thank the Lord that Shlomo is also a terrible speller, as he assumes that every word contains the sound “rrrrrr”. I have no idea how he came to have a Cornish accent.
I defer to Peter Sellers:
